Ha Ha Ha! Happy Winter Break! (I’m dreaming of a politically correct Christmas…)

Well, the season of sleigh bells, hot cocoa, gift-giving and all around good cheer is now upon us. Remember the good ol’ days when we used to call it Christmas?

As any politically correct individual knows, the very word “Christmas” can be and often is extremely offensive. Why? Well, as most people know, the word “Christmas” originated as a compound word, “Christ’s Mass”. Of course, the very name “Christ” can be extremely offensive in and of itself, as is the entire Christian system of beliefs. But on top of that, the second half of the word, “mass” is a Eucharistic celebration in the Roman Catholic Church. So, the whole word “Christmas” is absolutely fraught through with religion. It simply has no place in a politically correct society.

So, what do we do? Simple! We can replace “Christmas” with “Holidays”. After all, the Christmas season includes not only December 25 itself, but also New Years Eve and day. So it only makes sense to say “Happy Holidays”, since we’re really celebrating more than one special day. And that will make the people who don’t want to think about religion happy, right?

Wrong. See, the word “holiday” has its origins in the church and religion as well. “Holiday” was originally a contraction of the words “holy day”, and originally represented special religious days. So again, we find a word with roots in the church. The word holiday must go.

Hmm… what are we going to tell those fat men on the street corners to shout now? We can’t say “Happy Holidays”, and we certainly can’t say “Merry Christmas”. What should the official festive greeting be? Well, to be entirely politically safe, we now are reduced to referring to the festive week as merely “Winter Break”. Kinda takes the fun out of it…

But as if that’s not bad enough, we have to take even more of the festivity out of the season. See, in certain parts of the world, Santa Clauses are not allowed to shout “ho-ho-ho”. Why? Well, different people give different explanations. Some claim that the words “ho-ho-ho” sound too similar too an American slang term for female prostitute, while others say simply that the loud laughter may frighten little children. But whatever the reason, our red-clad over-weight philanthropists are now reduced to shouting “Ha Ha Ha! Happy Winter Break!”

I’m anxiously awaiting the day when those political correctness gurus realize that Santa Claus too should be banned from the holiday scene. After all, “Santa Claus” is really just a shortening of the name “Saint Nicholas”. And since the term “Saint” definitely has church origins, the man himself ought to be banned. I guess the only reason the keep the old fat guy around is that if they got rid of him, there’d be nothing left to celebrate.

3 thoughts on “Ha Ha Ha! Happy Winter Break! (I’m dreaming of a politically correct Christmas…)”

  • I have recently experienced this political correctness, but here on the eastcoast in NJ. I used to live out west and have never been confronted with this before–and ACTUALLY, never before in my life before I moved to NJ. The tri-state area (NY, NJ, CT) is quite diverse and people have said it’s offensive when Merry Christmas is only said and other celebrations are not mentioned (i.e. Hanukkah). In order to be inclusive, they’ve changed it to “Happy Holidays”. The whole issue is ironic.

    Well-written blog!

  • TRP

    Well, political correctness does come in varying degrees in different parts of the world, although I must say, I’m surprised that you didn’t encounter more political correctness out on the west coast.

    You are absolutely right, the whole issue is ironic. Most political correctness is, as a matter of fact. The truth is that the whole holiday of Christmas is full of religion from top to bottom, and atheists would be better off just admitting it and making the best of it.

    Oh, and I’m glad you like my blog. 🙂

  • I realize I’m really late commenting on this blog, but I really enjoy it. I, for one, cannot stand political correctness. This blog reminds me a lot of a Christian conservative comedian’s act that I’m sure you might enjoy. Here are the two links of the videos on youtube. The guy’s name is Brad Stine and he’s really funny and entertaining.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhdaNEoVQDI

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SllI4Cd23ZQ
    (start this second one at 3:05 and it goes until about 7:15 or so)

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